Let's Get Political

Why I'm not Depressed about Turning 30

So it's the big 29B this week. For the last few days my coworkers have been giving me a hard time about turning 30. One woman told me she spent her 30th birthday getting drunk and crying, nice... I am definitely not feeling that. I have to say that I'm feeling pretty good going into my 30s.

First of all, I've decided that I'm not getting older, I'm getting better. I feel like I know myself better now than I ever did in my twenties, and I'm a much more confident, together person than I was even a year ago.

I had a really great year this year: I trained for and ran in a mini-triathlon, had a great summer trip with friends and I got my master's degree.

And...I have a lot to be grateful for; I have a job I love, great family and friends and things are looking good for the new year. Wow! This is a really optimistic post! That's the holidays for you I guess...Merry Triciamas!

Why there's no milk in my fridge...

At midnight I decide to take advantage of the totally ridiculous fact that the "Super-mart" is open 24 hours to get a few groceries. As always I get my little basket and haul ass around the store picking up my few items. Walking around the deserted store I think to myself, "I'm a total genius! By the time I've got my few things and have gone through the self-checkout, I should be back to the car in under 10 minutes." (I'm super awesome right? Right! "Super-mart" however, is not.)

While mentally patting myself on the back I notice, to my horror, that the self-checkout is not open, in fact there is only ONE lane open. I realize that all the other super awesome people who are geniuses are waiting in a line stretching from the 1st lane to the other side of the store. I also notice that most people have their giant carts full to the brim and as I walk past the huge line with my 6 items in my basket I say to myself, "shit, shit, shit, shit". I turn to the nearest person waiting in line who then informs me that she's been waiting for "at least 25 minutes". "WTF!?!" I think to myself while wondering how this is any more convenient than waiting 25 minutes at a reasonable grocery shopping time.

I walk down the nearest aisle where I place my basket on the floor and walk away. As I walk out the door empty handed, I try not to think about how long it will take a store employee to find and put away the milk and fish I have left, on the floor, next to the dog food in aisle 4. I also try not to think about how angry I am at "Super-mart", not only for making me feel sad and pathetic for shopping at midnight on a Saturday night, but also for just being jerks in general. Thanks "Super-mart"!

It's Fate!

So, I know I haven't posted in a really long time...I'm sorry. But if there were more people than just the three of you reading this I might be more motivated...anyways!

So you know how I always rant about people at the movies? (See previous posts) Well, my sister's show is doing a segment about movie etiquette (oh how far our society has fallen when we need to point out all the ways we're rude) and I'm hosting it! HILARIOUS! I get to do dramatic re-enactments of ways that people are rude at the movies. It's like the very best thing that could ever happen!!

Oh yea...and yay Riders!

Cette annee-la!

This is so funny...it makes me giggle. Just a little something to get your weekend started!

Randoms

I don't want to write a real post so I'm just going to jot random things...

• Mika, the British singer, has a disturbingly high pitched voice. Higher than most, if not all women I know or have ever met. I'm not sure what I think about this...but I noticed it and thought I'd let you know I noticed this.
• Text messages are fun, but are for people who are too lazy to talk...and that's pretty lazy.
• I don't really think I like Swiss cheese best, that's just a rumour.
• I prefer Matt Damon when he's running around looking hot and beating up people. I don't really need to hear him speak.
• My mom asked me on Saturday, "Is that Awkward Chris?" and it made my day that she knew about Awkward Chris.
  
• I never actually told my mom about A.C. so I wonder how she knew about him. Maybe word's getting around town.
• I only have 9 more days before I have to go back to work. I have to start getting my sleeping patterns into some kind of order.
• Potato salad doesn't need ham to feel complete.
  

Weirdo...

Wanna see something creepy?

Tick Tock

This post is going to make people angry....this is probably going to be my most controversial post yet, even more than my "don't bring your baby to a movie" post. In fact, I think this post is going to create a lot of conversation among the two people who actually read my blog...so here goes...

I am not quite a full week into my summer holidays and...I'm bored. I know, I know, you guys are busting your asses, working your 60 hour work week, bringing home the bacon and you don't want to hear me whine about my excess of free time. I totally recognize that I'm a jerk for even thinking that this is a "problem", I hear you, I agree with you but suspend your disapproval long enough to read my rant, then you can yell at me in the comments.

So, it's hard to find things to do by yourself in the middle of the week. Everyone I know has a real job and they're working all day. I'm killing time by cleaning my house and reading perezhilton.com, it's sad really. There is nothing good on TV in the middle of the day, and, since I'm not being paid, I have no money to just shop my days away. Imagine, if you will, how I spent the other day. I woke up about 8AM, 'cause I'm too old to be able to sleep in, wandered around my house for a bit, read Perez, answered some email, checked my facebook, went for a bike ride (by myself), called my Mom, checked my email, checked my facebook (oh look, someone added some random application...that's moderately interesting), vacuumed my stairs, turned on the TV, turned off the TV, checked my facebook....you get the picture, the only thing missing was the song "All by Myself" playing in the background.

Now don't get me wrong, this is a problem I'd rather have than being worked off my ass, and in the realm of problems, it ranks pretty low. So I'm throwing this question out to you, poor hard-working souls. What would you do if you had infinite (albeit independent) time on your hands? FILL MY TIME PLEASE!! 'Cause I think I'm developing a problem/addiction to facebook.

Growing Pains and Snot Bubbles

Do you ever have that moment where you think, "holy crap, I'm a grown-up"? Usually it hits me when I'm standing in front of a class full of 12 year-olds. I'll have a moment of panic where I think someone has made a terrible mistake and left me in charge. All of a sudden the monkeys are running the zoo; all the kids are looking at me and doing what I tell them and I feel like a fraud. But then the panic subsides and I think, "holy crap, I'm a grown-up".

Today I'm having HCIAGU moments all over the place. First of all a "real" grown up asked me for some help on her masters thesis, which is hilarious. At one time in my life I was obsessed with New Kids on the Block, and now someone wants me to help them write a dissertation. (HCIAGU!)

Then, I went to my best friend from kindergarten to grade 12's pre-wedding social. I look over and the girl who used to make me pee my pants laughing by blowing snot bubbles on command, was standing beside her future mother-in-law. Just for a second I thought, "You're not old enough to have a mother-in-law! You just got your driver's license!" But then I remember, she's almost 30 (HCIAGU!).

I honestly never feel old. In fact I still feel like a kid sometimes. I think part of it is teaching elementary school, it somewhat stunts your maturity in that you're constantly reliving experiences from adolescence, just from a different perspective. However, I think watching my oldest friend get married this weekend may be a turning point. I may just have to accept that I'm a grown up. I'm still going to look forward to recess though, and blow the occasional snot bubble.

ihate the iphone

I'm sick of hearing about the iphone. Here's some advice people, save your money 'cause in 6 months it'll be cheaper, smaller and better, just like the ipod, ipod nano, ipod shuffle and ipod video.

However, this video is awesome, it's totally the universe telling this stupid lady: "you're awful and pretentious and as such karma's gonna bite you in the ass". Money may talk but in this case it’s just telling you that you’re an idiot.

...and the countdown reaches it's climactic conclusion...

1 MORE DAY!! Breakfast tomorrow with my staff and then I'm done at noon...I may even have a nap tomorrow, not because I'll need one, but just because I can!

The countdown nears it's finish...

2 more days...tomorrow we meet and meet and meet...

...and the Countdown goes on and on...

3 more days!! Tomorrow I bowl...mwah ha ha ha ha!

Air quotes

This is in response to this awesome post about using quotation marks incorrectly. This image came from foundmagazine.com. I really don't want to know what kind of home-made contraption a "tampon" is, and if it's not a real toilet bowl, what is it? No, don't tell me, I really don't want to know.

"t"

The countdown continues...

4 more days!! Tomorrow I have to have a pizza lunch and watch a talent show. Life is tough...

The countdown begins...

5 more days!! Tomorrow we race cars all morning...god my job is so hard.

Hell Week

Have you ever noticed how everything seems to happen at once? This is hell week for me, I've got this massive paper due (that's pretty much ruling my life at the moment), a presentation to plan and give, a 25 minute video that I need to finish shooting and edit, a grade 8 farewell to organize, a bridal shower to help plan and to attend out of town, and I'm trying to fit in runs, bikes and swims for this mini-triathlon that my friend Kyla talked me into. So, all of this stuff is going on this week. Next week however...nothing, in fact, there'll be nothing to stress me out after Monday of next week (other than the usual).

So, I apologize if I've forgotten your birthday or something in the last few days, or if I'm a huge, self-centered, pain in the ass or if I've gotten on your nerves whining and complaining that I've got so much stuff to do. I'm running on a few hours sleep a night and it seems that all roads in my life are converging at one big traffic accident at the moment. But I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, and July is going to be awesome, and hopefully, well-deserved! So, for now, leave me alone! I've got some shit to take care of...

Ode to Procrastination

Oh Fair Procrastination, how thou doth burden me!
I try to commence my chore
but to no avail, for more pleasant tasks absorb my attention

My conscience stirs, it calls to me:
"get back to work you lazy ass"
And yet, I cannot,
nay, for there is a Simpson's episode dawning,
the likes of which I have never seen.

Again, my worries do call:
"Thou time is almost ended, you must return to your toil!"
But instead, mine eyes do see that the floor requires sweeping
or that I should really arrange my DVDs alphabetically.

Oh this affliction, I do abhor thee!
Why doest thou harass me with such vigor!

Common Sense is Not So Common

Ok, so I just got home from seeing "Knocked Up" with my buds. It was funny, I liked it. I almost don't mind paying $10 to see a movie when it doesn't suck. I do mind however, paying $10 and listening to a baby cry through an entire movie.

I just don't understand people. Why are you bringing a 2 year old to an "R" rated movie with multiple sex scenes in it? Yea, maybe babies don't understand what's going on but it's still inappropriate. And why would you take a baby to a late movie on a Saturday night, aren't babies supposed to be in bed at a reasonable hour?

It's not like this was Shrek or something where at least the baby could get something out of watching the pictures, it was a adult movie, about adult topics, with adults actually in the movie, what's a two year old going to enjoy about that? When you see "family" movies, you expect that there will be children in the audience and that they may cry or be kind of noisy, so it's no big deal. I don't think that it's fair to all the paying customers who go to see a film that is obviously not intended for children, to have to listen to a baby cry the entire time. And by the way, TAKE THE KID OUT OF THE ROOM. I'm sure you're not enjoying the movie with a screaming kid on your lap so what makes you think the rest of us are?

Hey, I'm pro-baby, I'm on team baby, I enjoy children and I invite you all to have 10 of them if you so wish. I'm no baby-hater, but I just think that this is a good example of people who are not using their common sense, which seems to be less and less common these days. Or maybe these people are just so self-absorbed they don't know what's going on around them or maybe they just don't care. They have special screenings for parents and kids, go to one of those, or get a babysitter, or rent a movie.

Just a final note to all you offenders, when you're in the theatre with your screaming baby, everyone in the theatre is judging you. It may not be nice, it may not be fair, but at that moment everyone in the room thinks you are a bad parent. If I were you, just knowing that, would be reason enough for me to leave the kids at home.

Play Time

When you were growing up did you have that friend who had all the toys that you wanted but didn't have? I swear I had this friend who I only hung out with because her stuff was cooler than mine. I'm buying a birthday present for my best friend's daughter and it reminded me of all the things I wanted as a kid but didn't have, here's a list. (This list is in no way comprehensive, I was a very needy child)

• Snoopy Snow Cone Maker - the most impractical toy ever. It was super hard to use and once you ran out of the syrup it was mostly just an elaborate ice shaver.
• Nintendo Gameboy - it's smaller than a compact car but bigger than a breadbox, it's the 80's version of gameboy, now I think they just implant them directly into the user's brain. I always wanted one even though I didn't really like video games, I probably would have developed a Tetris addiction.
• Guess Who Board Game - I loved this game. I can't explain exactly why but this was hands down, my favourite board game. Actually it still is, I would still play this game.
• Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego video game - back before the television show it was really cool, but then Rockapella ruined that. Where in the world is Rockapella? That's a mystery no one wants solved.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head, I'm sure I could come up with more, like I said, I coveted a lot of things in my youth. (oh, who am I kidding, I still want lots of stuff) What would you add to my list?

An Open Letter to Gas Pigs

Today I witnessed something that made me angry, horrified and appalled. After shopping at Costco (because, yes, I am a little white-trashy), I walked out into the parking lot where a couple were standing beside their large 1/2 ton truck smoking (which in itself is horrifying). It's a pretty nice day today, but it's not scorching hot, yet those people were standing there puffing on their cancer sticks while their gas-guzzler was running. They were running their truck with the a/c blowing so it would cool down before they got in! I turned to my friend and made a snarky comment like: "wow, at $1.20 a litre, these people must be millionaires." They might as well just light their money on fire. But even more appalling is the fact that there are people AT WAR because of our gas consumption practices. I bet those soldiers in IRAQ would love to have some air conditioning while they're busy TRYING NOT TO DIE, not to mention the environmental damage you're doing just because it's a little hot outside and you're a douche bag.

Congratulations to you if you can afford a hummer or to just throw your money away by wasting fuel, but that doesn't mean you should actually do it. Just because you have a small penis or low self-esteem doesn't mean that we should all have to suffer. And for the rest of us that actually give a shit, maybe if we start being a little more vocal people will get the point that it's not cool to be a gas pig.

Happy Trails to You

Ok, I'm throwing this idea out into the universe and you can disagree if you want to, but...I think series finales are never satisfying. I'm speaking specifically about Gilmore Girls here, but really, has anyone ever been totally satisfied when a well-loved show ends? Seinfeld...not satisfying, Friends...not satisfying...Sex in the City...moderately satisfying. Gilmore Girls...NOT SATISFYING!! It just seemed like everything ended too quickly and all the loose ends just wrapped up too neatly, ya know? Maybe I'm just bitter it's over. Let's be honest, in a week or two I won't even miss it.

I'm baaack!

Well, maybe it's the whiskey talking, or maybe it's the fact that I'm procrastinating, either way, I'm back on the blog.

Jamie's is hilarious, and Erin's is updated sporadically at best, and they've inspired me to start anew.

Tonight, Cindy, Farley and I waited in line for almost 2 hours to meet Phil from the amazing race. I really wanted to ask Phil to record my new phone message, it would go something like this: "Tricia is away on a trip sponsored by our friends at Travelocity, the last team to leave her a message may be eliminated, you have $1.00 for this leg of the race." Unfortunately all I got was a picture, it's fantastic so I'll post it when Farley sends it to me.

As we were waiting in line I filled out an application for Phil's (we're best friends now so I can call him Phil) new TV show about people facing their fears and wanting to do something crazy like bungee jumping or something. I couldn't really come up with anything. Apparently I'm very boring and have no ambition. Just thought you all should know. Maybe if you think of something I could aspire to you could let me know.