You know when you meet someone who immediately puts you at ease? Who makes you feel so comfortable it's as if you've known them for years instead of minutes? That charismatic person who makes you want to join their club within moments of meeting them? I am not that person.
Apparently I come across as a stuck up bitch.
This was pointed out to me, a little more kindly than maybe I've phrased it, by someone I've known a while. We were talking about when we first met (in quite a large group of people), and what our first impressions were. My first impression of him was pretty dead on, and his of me? Well, I think it's pretty much the polar opposite of how I really am.
I think that sometimes when someone is a little shy, maybe not immediately chatty or obviously friendly, it comes across as aloof. So, I guess I need to work on that. It wouldn't kill me to be a little more outgoing sometimes. But it was also a good reminder that often our first impressions are dead wrong. Unfortunately, they're also really hard to overcome. So, I'm going to switch from the shy/stuck up kind of social awkwardness I've rocked for the last 31 years to the over-the-top, in-your-face friendly kind of social awkwardness. (I'm taking my cues from that Wal-Mart greeter who follows you out to your car to say "have a nice day", he always seems friendly...maybe a bit on the creepy side, but creepy-friendly is still friendly right?)
Hopefully it doesn't come across as fake. I really hate fake people.
PS...you don't need to comment that you don't think I'm a bitch...it's a given, besides, if my friends think I'm an asshole I'm really beyond help.
3 comments:
WHAT?! That is not true at all. I don't actually think that could be more false. I remember the day I first met you in your apartment on Aarons road and you told me the story about how one person you interviewed for a roomate said that if she didn't do the dishes you should just put them in a box in her room? I thought that was the funniest thing! I was immediately put at ease with you as soon as I walked in the door. And I knew that we would be great friends right away. That sounds cliched and perhaps spelled wrong but it's totally true. I also think you are one of the least stuck up people I know. And you come across as very outgoing and, if you hadn't of told me, I wouldn't have known you were shy at all. And I think that I know you very well.
I'm actually a little angry right now at whoever said that to you.
So there.
Okay, here's the scoop. I'm the same way, but this year I've decided to say "yes" more often than "no" and smile and make eye contact instead of playing with the sleeve of my sweater when I get shy and nervous. So far...it's worked okay. Give it a try!
I love your plan. Let me know how that works out for you. I'll be here, huddled in the corner enjoying my self-imposed isolation. JOKES!!
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