Ommm

I started taking a yoga class with a friend. It's really relaxing, especially the last 20 minutes where we lie on the floor and the instructor uses her really calm librarian voice. It was very zen...probably...I fell asleep so I missed the zen moment.

Anyways, the class is kind of hilarious. On the first day we all had to introduce ourselves and say what "brought" us to yoga. I said a 2006 Kia but apparently that wasn't the right answer. There was one woman who said that "yoga changed her life" and that she lives and breathes it. We were supposed to leave our judgments at the door but I didn't. I'm judgy. That's what makes me fun. So I judged her...harshly. And when she nearly hit the floor during a relatively easy pose I judged her harshly again.

Also we spend a lot of time "discovering". The instructor will say things like: "Let's discover our right hip", during a pose where you think that your right hip just may pop right out of your body. And sometimes I'm not sure what to do because we're never really given an instruction, just suggestions. For example instead of telling us where to stand on the mat she'll say, "perhaps we'll stand on the end of our mat". Perhaps? Shouldn't you know? Jesus, who's in charge here? This chick doesn't even know where we're supposed to stand.

But the most hilarious part this week was at the end of the class. We breathed deeply, eyes closed and wished for health, happiness and peace. Then we extended these wishes to the others in our class and all of humanity. Then, serene music playing, lights dimmed, we quietly made our way out the room to the parking lot and our cars where some dumb broad promptly cut me off and gave me the finger. Namaste.