It's a Charlie Brown Christmas

Who doesn't love Charlie Brown? Every time Lucy would pull that football out from under him I wanted to just punch her in the face, I may have had some anger issues as a child. Anyways, here's a few facts you may not have known about the Charlie Brown Christmas show and here's a quiz..I got 80%, beat that suckers.

Underwear humour

Think in pairs...

It's no fun having a drunk for a wife...

Well said A.A....after reading these comic strips I am definitely going to cut back, maybe...I especially appreciate how polite and well dressed everyone is in these comics. "I went to jail because of my drinking", says the woman with a smile, "I went to my first A.A. meeting in a mental institution" says the man with the pipe...didn't we all though really... It's kind of creepy that everyone looks like they're from an Archie comic...boy, Riverdale has got some serious problems going on these days...

Desk Jobs Suck

Ok, so right now, I'm at an inservice where I'm supposed to be researching, evaluating and suggesting websites for educational use. All in all, a worthy indeavour. But, I'm taking a break at this very moment because....desk jobs suck... How do people do this all day? Apparently my attention span is way worse than I thought but I could not handle this day after day. I NEED RECESS!! Who wants to go outside and play? Aww, come on! I need to run around and let off some steam....Pass the retalin...

The ego has landed

Oh my god you guys, I seriously don't have an ego problem, I was just trying to be funny. But after I wrote and posted my last post, I re-read it and it sounds like I'm a total egomaniac! Alright, just realize that I wrote that to be funny, when I was taking a break from writing a paper....I'm not a jerk, I promise....

Keep the Tricia in Triciamas

People are always complaining about "Holiday Concerts" instead of Christmas concerts and the like, and I've had enough. Hey, I'm the first person to say that Christmas is an important holiday, but perhaps not for the reason that you're thinking.

December 25th is a day when you don't have to go into work, you spend time with family and friends, you sing special songs, eat decadent, rich foods and when you buy presents for those you love in celebration of the birth of someone very important: Tricia. That's right, while you may think of December as "Christmas", this year you should really get with the times and begin to think of this important holiday the way Christ himself would want you to: as "Triciamas".

Triciamas is a non-denominal celebration: Triciamas doesn't care if you believe in God, Buddha, Allah, Karma, Area 51 or the Easter Bunny, as long as you believe in yourself...and of course Tricia. And Triciamas has never insighted violence in the Middle East.

Triciamas is not commercial, it doesn't advertise on TV, scream lame songs at you from the radio, demand that you take a picture with a hairy fat man, or buy hundreds of dollars in presents. Triciamas just wants you to be happy, and perhaps that you buy Tricia a drink, and if you're feeling especially merry, a small token of your appreciation that may or may not include jewels or cash.

Triciamas, like Tricia herself, is appreciated by children and adults alike. Just like those warm, fuzzy feelings you get when spending time with Tricia, Triciamas brings a feeling of warmth and joy to all those who take time to celebrate the wonderous birth of Tricia.

While a relatively new celebration, this will be approximately the 28th celebration of Triciamas, although scholars believe that there may have been many years of celebrating the prophetized arrival of Tricia.

So this year, gather round the Triciamas tree, sip some eggnog, sing some Triciamas carols, open some Triciamas presents and bask in the wonder that is the birth of Tricia. Then maybe call her and wish her a Happy Birthday.

Bizzare Commercials

If you've got a little time to kill....this is an Advent calendar where each day has a new bizzare commercial. December 4ths Underoos commercial is my current favourite. "My heros are Superman and Luke Forbes"....

And I always thought Tom Hanks was a good guy...

I loved that alternate trailer for The Shining and here's a really creepy one for the movie "Big" with Tom Hanks.

Paper Toss

I kick-ass at this game! In real life I'm pretty awesome at it too...I can hit the garbage can with a white board marker from pretty much any spot in my classroom. Paper of course, is a little different because you've got to take wind resistance and the weight of the paper into account: printer paper = only short shots, construction paper = long bombs from the three point line. It's all about the science my friends...

Hey Clarence!

Let's watch one of your annoying movies...yea..F@!$ the Kidz...Seriously, what the heck is this? It gets me riled up.

Proper Terminology

Ok people, we're all adults here...there's nothing to be embarassed about. The human body is a beautiful thing...Seriously though, this is a tad on the creepy side...I think if I saw this guy hanging out in a playground I might call the cops.

Shut Up Potsie

Chachi was definitely my least favourite character on Happy Days, seriously, who could possibly love Chachi? Joanie was obviously on crack, now she's probably a meth addict, living in a trailer park with her FAS kids, collecting disability and saving up for gastric bypass surgery. Happy Days indeed...

Which pre-1985 video game hero are you?

Tell me this isn't Tricia to a TEE!! Yea, I'm talking to you, trouble-making friend!

I am Mario.

I like to jump around, and would lead a fairly serene and aimless existence if it weren't for my friends always getting into trouble. I love to help out, even when it puts me at risk. I seem to make friends with people who just can't stay out of trouble.

Who are you?

There's no "i" in team, or in Teen Wolf

What is it about being a werewolf that turns you into a good basketball player? I don't understand the logic...is it only basketball or would it be any agressive sport like say, football or soccer? Would Teen Wolf be a soccer superstar? Is it all competitive sports? Would Teen Wolf be a good volleyball player with a block like a wall and mad digging skills? How about baseball? Do you think Teen Wolf would play in-field or out-field? He can't have my spot at first base. Then again, is it just that Teen Wolf is good at competition in general? Do you think that Teen Wolf could be a chess champion? Maybe competitive spelling? Although I think he might be a little scary to those cute spelling bee kids he would definitely have the intimidation factor on his side.

In any case, I think you would be better off having Teen Wolf on your team because even though he's kind of a jerk, it's pretty hard to play defense against him but McSweeney's has some suggestions.

Ali G

The "G" stands for genius...enjoy
Kobe
Shaq and Wade
TNT NBA Thursday
Nash - by far the best one

Props to the Punkin

Happy Hallowe'en, in the spirit of scooping out innards, here's some holiday pictures courtesy of extremepumpkins.com

Get Jiggy Wid It

Ever wonder what you look like when you're drunk and dancing at the bar? Let me fill you in.

Game Day

Should be a good game today, here's some inspiration:

• Gotta Dive for Those...it's all about effort people
• Give a Hand...this one's for Laura
• Don't...I hate when this happens to me a work
• Aaaarold...seriously, if your name's Arnold, you deserve it
  

Gravitas

If you've ever sat naked on a hotel-room bedspread...I've got a chilling report you won't want to miss. Click on "Let the Gravitas Begin" to learn more.

Curious Little Monkeys

Wanna hear a story? Well, read on...

Dancin' Shoes

I love this, it's this guy Matt who has traveled all over the world and has taped himself dancing in fabulous, exotic locales. It makes me jealous, let's face it, this place is neither fabulous nor exotic.

It's been a long week...

Ok, so here I am at home on a Friday night because I'm supposed to be writing a paper. Yea, I haven't actually started yet but I'll get to it eventually...really, I will...eventually...maybe...ok, probably not. It was a looong week this week, I'm bushed. I'll probably be in bed by 10:00...this pretty much sums up how this week felt.

The Shroud of Cartman

Click here to see my latest eBay purchase...

The Shining

Ok, this is AWESOME!! This guy entered a contest where the rules were to take any movie and create a new trailer for it in an entirely different genre. Only the sound and dialogue could be modified, not the scenes themselves. So, The Shining becomes a feel good buddy movie, who'd a thunk it?! This makes me want to break out my video editing program and go to town, but let's face it, I won't.

And if you've never seen the original, you can watch it here, in just 30 seconds.

Friends in low places...

Betcha didn't know Farley and I were so popular did ya? Well, Paul and Ralph wanted their pictures taken with us and we couldn't really say no could we? It was for the good of our nation. Oh, and I have to send a shout out to Ryan, our press photographer, that's some nice work.

Hmmm...Party Animals?

Alright, alright, I'll post already!! Due to the underwhelming response I will now post pictures from our baseball windup on my blog. I think we had more fun than the pictures really reflect...didn't we?

J.Lo is a shoelace that irons your shirts, keeps drinks hot and makes popcorn.

Tricia is a billboard that works in the rain! Who knew? Visit this site that randomly generates product ideas. Teacher is a shoelace! It mimics the movements of a lizard!

I am also Rick James

I love Sarah Silverman, she makes a great white, female Dave Chapelle.

Look closely...

Ok, who's had this happen to them... anyone? Anyone? C'mon guys, it must have happened to one of you out there, who's gonna admit...oh! You! It happened to you? Yea, I figured you'd be the one...freak.

Who lets this guy talk on TV?

George W. is a jackass...wait, an extraordinary jackass...

Bill for Prez

I'm not the only one who has been totally appalled by what I'm watching on TV about hurricane Katrina. George Bush doesn't care about black people, white people, or poor people, really he doesn't care about anybody but himself and his rich buddies. Here's a link to my new personal hero Kanye West, watch the expression on Mike Myer's face...priceless!

This clip is really scary, apparently a natural disaster negates all personal rights and freedoms. Way to go FEMA!

At least Bill Maher has a plan of action.

Why Canadians Hate Americans...

Memo to Ann Coulter: You are lucky we allow you to exist on the same continent as the rest of us. You give Americans a bad name.

Memo to Tucker Carlson: I am going to run over your action figure with my dog sled.

Another Funny Song...Duck!

I love this, I have no idea why but it's FANTASTIC!! This will be in my head for a week at least!

Sweet Mixed Tapes

This is lame but it's so weird I can't help but love it. Blog it Like it's Hot Ya'll.

Love is Strange...

The mother of all hook-ups...Hey, it's Friday, you should be so lucky!!

Craving Steak?

This one's for Rae-Rae...

What's in Ned's Head? Not much apparently...

Seriously, is this really a game? I think they must be running out of ideas up there at Matel or something 'cause this sounds lame. And they claim it was rated #1 by kids, I think they mean kids who pick their nose 'cause this is gross. As soon as the one I ordered arrives and I've played it a few times, it's for sure going back...probably.

Smurfy

I loved the Smurfs when I was young. They used to come on like 3 times on Saturday mornings. I loved the early episodes before they introduced the lame new characters like Grandpa Smurf. I also appreciated how the word "smurf" could be used as a noun, verb and adjective. Such as: "Wow! What a smurfy day!" or "Brainy, you egotistical bastard, smurf-0ff". I think I'm going to put the word smurf back into my vocabulary rotation. The smurfs were also on after school everyday but only on the French channel and, let's face it, "Les Schtroumpfs" just doesn't have quite the same ring. I don't ever remember the Smurfs quite like this though.

Bad Taste in Music

Do you have bad taste in music? Seek help immediately.

Pass on the Popcorn

I think that if movie theatres started serving popcorn out of these Scooby Doo barf-a-rama bowls, that sales would go through the roof. Don't even ask where the butter dispenser is.

Tricia who?

This is hilarious. It's especially fitting after today, my first day back at work, when I feel like I got run over by a truck. First days rock.

Identity Crisis

Ok, so I have watched almost the entire second season of Chappelle's Show. I have walked around for the last few days saying, "I'm Rick James!", even though I'm obviously not. This one made me laugh too, even though it's terrible, and I'm not gay, or American. Be forewarned, this is not exactly intellectual humour, but it might just make you spit milk out of your nose. SLAP!

Supersized Jack

This is a short film that takes a minute or two to download, but it's funny. It takes courage to try an experiment such as this one. I think we should give it a go starting Labour Day.

Hail to the Chief

JEBUS LUKE! Back off dude, seriously, for a guy who hasn't updated his blog in like, 20 days, you should not be hatin' on my site!! Alright, alright, this one's for you...

If I were American, Macgyver would totally get my vote. He could fix up that country's problems with a gum wrapper, a paperclip and sheer determination. Then maybe he could figure out a way to improve that Iraqi constitution using a thesaurus and needle-nosed pliers.

More Internet Fun

The object of today's time-waster is to identify a movie based on a freeze framed picture. The catch is that the actors are invisible.

Googled

This is really fun. It's a game where you are shown 20 images and have 25 seconds to figure out which word would return these images in a Google search. Wasting time at work is great.

Yes, THE Bruce Dickenson

Who doesn't love Christopher Walken? Here is the original "Weapon of Choice" video, and, courtesy of Shawn, the Stick Man version. Both are great, but there's still not enough cowbell, baby.

Fraggles Rock!

Ok, so after our discussion about 80's television, I did a little searching for our friends the Fraggles. How could we have forgotten our buddies: Gobo, Wembly, Red, Mokey and Boober? Hee hee, that's right BOOBER! How could my mother ever have let me watch such a filthy show?! I think I've figured out what name is going on my ball uniform guys!! (It's Boober!! Hee hee, Boober!)

Rubberband Man

Ok, I know that not everyone feels my pain at summer being almost over so on a different note...last night, after spending a few hours at work, I have to admit I was getting kind of excited about going back to school. (I know, I'm sick, I need help). Maybe I'm alone but I happen to enjoy shopping for school supplies. There's something that thrills me about a new box of markers!! I love these Office Max commercials and you have to watch the one called "The Party's Over" in keeping with the back to school theme.

Potty Mouth!

Ok, I won't divulge the identity of the person who sent me this link but I admit it's pretty interesting to see the results of this bathroom habits survey. It only takes a minute and the results are pretty surprising...seriously people, wash your hands! For the love of God!