Sunday, December 11, 2005

Keep the Tricia in Triciamas


People are always complaining about "Holiday Concerts" instead of Christmas concerts and the like, and I've had enough. Hey, I'm the first person to say that Christmas is an important holiday, but perhaps not for the reason that you're thinking.

December 25th is a day when you don't have to go into work, you spend time with family and friends, you sing special songs, eat decadent, rich foods and when you buy presents for those you love in celebration of the birth of someone very important: Tricia. That's right, while you may think of December as "Christmas", this year you should really get with the times and begin to think of this important holiday the way Christ himself would want you to: as "Triciamas".

Triciamas is a non-denominal celebration: Triciamas doesn't care if you believe in God, Buddha, Allah, Karma, Area 51 or the Easter Bunny, as long as you believe in yourself...and of course Tricia. And Triciamas has never insighted violence in the Middle East.

Triciamas is not commercial, it doesn't advertise on TV, scream lame songs at you from the radio, demand that you take a picture with a hairy fat man, or buy hundreds of dollars in presents. Triciamas just wants you to be happy, and perhaps that you buy Tricia a drink, and if you're feeling especially merry, a small token of your appreciation that may or may not include jewels or cash.

Triciamas, like Tricia herself, is appreciated by children and adults alike. Just like those warm, fuzzy feelings you get when spending time with Tricia, Triciamas brings a feeling of warmth and joy to all those who take time to celebrate the wonderous birth of Tricia.

While a relatively new celebration, this will be approximately the 28th celebration of Triciamas, although scholars believe that there may have been many years of celebrating the prophetized arrival of Tricia.

So this year, gather round the Triciamas tree, sip some eggnog, sing some Triciamas carols, open some Triciamas presents and bask in the wonder that is the birth of Tricia. Then maybe call her and wish her a Happy Birthday.

3 comments:

Blake said...

What!? No pictures with the hairy fat man!? But I thought that was what the spirit of Triciamas was all about.

Blake said...

Your not the Fat Hairy man I was thinking of, but I'll suppose you'll do. Need any elfin helpers? (Elves in the Triciamas tradition are of the tall Lord of the Rings variety. Every year a special elf is chosen to go out into the world to determine which girls have been naughty or nice. The Fat Hairy man then determines what "punishment" the naughty girls deserve and what "presents" to give to the nice girls on Triciamas Eve. Boys are not included in Triciamas giving.)

Blake said...

That's up to The Tricia to give to the boys.