Sunday, June 07, 2009

Apparently I'm a Fucking Bitch...I didn't know either

So on Friday afternoon I was very productive...there was a fist fight and I suspended two kids. Then one of them caused some trouble on the school bus so I kicked him off. As he walked off the bus he said to me "fucking bitch".

I didn't know I was a bitch, let alone a fucking bitch. Seriously, I am pretty mad at you guys. This is something I think someone should have told me. Here I am, walking around, living life as a fucking bitch and I didn't even know it. It took some 12 year old to tell me, when it really should have been you guys; my bffs.

I mean, how long have you known? Is this fairly recent or has this been going on a long time now? Does everyone know? OMG, I"m just so embarrassed, I feel like EVERYONE knew before I did. It's like walking around with toilet paper on your shoe or a kick me sign or something. I'm just so mortified.

Well, at least I know now, right? So, what do I do about it? IS there some sort of club or support group or something? Do I get a tax credit or a tee-shirt? Do I try to NOT be a fucking bitch or do I just embrace it and start cutting people off in traffic and complaining really loudly about the service I'm receiving in a restaurant. Can I start slow at least? Maybe just by talking on my cell phone the entire time a cashier is ringing me through in a store or by not holding doors for old people. You'll have to bear with me while I figure these things out, I'm pretty new at this. Or at least I think I am...

2 comments:

farleycat said...

You crack me up! I honestly just thought you were a bitch, not a fucking bitch. Well, I guess we all learned something from a 12 year old today.

notquiteawake said...

Sorry, I thought I was the fucking bitch in the group, so this has also caught me by surprise. I had always thought you were the fucking AWESOME one and I stand by that. But, if you need any tips, you know who to call.