Hold the pickles...

Pickles are ruining my life. This starts out funny but then gets just sad.

Let's Play the Feud!

This is courtesy of our bigfooted sea monster chasing friend, Jamie. I've polled 100 people and they agree that this is hilarious...well, maybe not 100, but at least 3.

The Writing's on the Wall

I love Big Brother, it's hands-down my favourite guilty TV pleasure and I can't wait until it starts again this summer...but...apparently the UK version of BB is much, much drunker, I mean better.

You are the weakest Link

Things I will say to Bob Barker when we have our inevitable final confrontation...

Beat Kids...not literally

Ray-Ray's demanding answers in the park. Be forewarned, this is pretty offensive....but funny.

"Tron: It's Totally Awesome"

They just don't make public service announcements like they used to.

That Time of the Month

Be prepared, this might get a little messy:

Riding the Crimson Wave, Miss Scarlett's Come Home to Tara, Trolling for Vampires, A Dishonorable Discharge from the Uterine Navy, Saddling Old Rusty, Clean-Up in Aisle One, Massacre at the Y, T-Minus 9 Months and Holding, Game Day for the Crimson Tide, Panty Shields Up, Captain!, Taking Carrie to the Prom, Arts and Crafts Week at Panty Camp, Getting a Visit from Aunt Flo.

Ann Coulter: Shameless

Ok, let's break it down all political-like:

Holy crap, Ann Coulter is totally the devil incarnate. Watch the video and pray for the eternal damnation of her soul.

Bigfoot or Robin Williams? You Decide!

If anyone, and I'm not thinking of anyone in particular (Jamie), is on the hunt for bigfoot, I have some video that may be of use. Now, I would really like it if you could draw up a contract which guarantees me 50% of any profits gained from the use of this video. But then again, 50% of $0 is still $0, so nevermind.

Sasquatch gets a shave
Sasquatch pees the bed

What a Weekend!

Weekend highlights:

• The 'Riders win a meaningless pre-season game, in the most uninteresting game ever.
• The pep band debuts their new material, I can't wait for the lyrics to Mambo #5 to be ready...I'm on pins and needles I tell ya.
  
• Tricia has a mini-mental breakdown but makes a quick recovery thanks to iced coffee and banana loaf.
• Angela graduates and becomes a full fledged....um, I'm not sure what, but she's done school.

So, all in all, a pretty hum-drum weekend. Oh, yea...and Luke and Laura got engaged!!! Who'd a thunk it...good work there Luke! So Laura, now the real work begins. Here's some help from the experts. Congratulations!!

Eye of the Tiger

I'm totally not coaching volleyball or basketball next year, I just won't have time. No longer can the children at my school live in ignorance, no longer will the kids at my school be denied access to the one true sport; the only sport that challenges not only your physical stamina but also your intellect. Next year, all my extra-curricular energy will be entirely focused on, yes, say it with me: Chessboxing. That's right, chess and boxing. It's the best of both worlds. It's a real sport, no, really it is, no really. Shout out to Terri for this fine gem. Hay-ay!

A few words on sleep deprivation

A few gems from the relay this weekend:

• Betty scamming on Fred...it's just so wrong
• Betty scamming on Chris...yes, we did all see that, yes it was awkward
  
• Raelynne and Ryan learning about the birds and the bees in the parking lot
• Being ballerinas at Tim Horton's
• A shoe full of beer at the McDonald's playground
• My brother makes a mean hamburger
• Tricia being a total bitch at Twister at 4 in the morning ("Are you fricking kidding me? It's 4 in the morning!")
  
• Logan in a dress...commando...
• AND THE CROWD GOES WILD...for inappropriate lyrics

I slept a lot today but I'm still anticipating being a total zombie at work tomorrow... what a great weekend!

Rae's Cat is a Whore

Now, it's not like I'm one to spread idol gossip, and it's not like this can't be confirmed through a number of sources, and it's not like I'm the only one who think so...Rae, I have some bad news, your cat is a slut. Everyone in the neighbourhood knows. We all whisper about it on the corner as we take out the trash: your cat is as easy as Sunday morning. It's so sad, she obviously comes from a good home. She just has some self-esteem issues. It's sending shockwaves through the neighbourhood, the other female cats are circling the wagons; they're not about to let some two-bit hussy get her claws into their men. I know what you're thinking: this is all just gossip, how do you know this is going on, are you positive? Honey, I'm as positive as Trevis Smith's bloodtests.

Runaway Kicker

Apparently Duncan O'Mahoney would rather drop off the face of the earth than have to live in Winnipeg. I definitely understand that, Winnipeg totally sucks! Really, when someone is missing it's not really that funny, but since we all know he's ok, it'a a little bit funny. But what's really funny is the ad they've chosen to attach to this news article. Check out the screen shot.

Moses was the coolest guy in school

I'm not sure this is a literal interpretation of the Old Testament...but it does have some rockin' tunes!!

Happy Mother's Day

Don't dis your mother, she's not here, and without her you wouldn't be here, so when you dis one mother you dis all mothers. Fools!

I loves me a musical!

So our school musical is half over, one more performance to go. I'm exhausted, but already thinking about next year: maybe we'll do something like this...

Dude, Where's Kimmy Gibbler?

Ever wonder what happened to DJ's best friend Kimmy? Of course you do! It's not like you have anything better to think about since there's no good Brangelina gossip lately and since you're over making fun of Tom Cruise's very public mental breakdown. I wonder if when she's walking down the street, or maybe at a football game, people recognize her and scream out "Hey! It's Kimmy Gibbler, Hi Kimmy Gibbler!" I think if I saw her walking down the street I'd ask her what ever happened to Michelle? You just never hear about that kid do ya? Shout out to my researcher Farley, HA-AY!

#1 with Hudderites!!

If you look up "hudderite" on Sympatico.ca, my blog is the very first result...how hilarious! Don't believe me? Check it out for yourself jerk!

Everybody was Kung Foo Fighting...

Here's a video of Terri and I hanging at the mall last weekend...I look surprisingly asian.